Despite it containing some monstrously bad sequels Hellraiser is probably one of my favorite horror franchises of all time, though I use the word franchise loosely. (the combined gross of all the Hellraiser films is less than $150 Million). There are comic book and novels of course, and plenty of VOD but I doubt you’ll find anyone claiming it is a financial juggernaut.
My ranking for my favorite Hellraiser flicks factors out to:
1. Hellraiser
2. Hellbound: Hellraiser II
3. Hellraiser: Bloodline
4. Hellraiser: Deader
…somewhere far below:
Hellraiser: Inferno
Hellraiser: Hellseeker
The rest…best left forgotten.
There are several folks in the entertainment industry who I wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire: Michael Bay, Damon Lindelof, Rian Johnson, Akiva Goldsman, Alex Kurtzman, J.J. Abrams, Bob Ortiz, and David Goyer.
Goyer is one of those guys who fails upwards. You’d think he had incriminating photos of someone up high the way he continues to be given projects. I devoutly believe that any project he is a part of that fares well does so in spite of his presence not because of it.
Blade
Batman Begins
The Dark Knight
Dark City
All solid films…but not because of Goyer. But because of these guys.
Blade – Stephen Norrington
Batman Begins – Christopher Nolan
The Dark Knight – Christopher Nolan | Jonathan Nolan
Dark City – Alex Proyas
My theory is given credence when we take a look at the projects which were completed by Goyer and Goyer alone:
Blady Trinity (Writer and Director)
The Unborn (Writer and Director)
Both are stir-fried garbage.
If this weren’t enough he wrote Man of Steel and Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice which, let’s face it, narrative-wise both were pretty horrific and damaged the DC universe heavily.
Beginning to see a pattern here?
Yet here we are in 2019 with this individual having the Hellraiser reins handed to him. According to Deadline Spyglass Media Group is ‘re-imagining’ the series with Goyer producing and writing.
Sure one could argue that the Hellraiser franchise isn’t exactly in the best of shape with
vomit like Hellraiser: Judgement still managing to be to get green-lit. There are those who would even say that Goyer would be a step-up from where it was. To these folks I say you drastically underestimate the stench of Goyer and his ability bring a property to new lows.
Nothing good will come from this.
When we see Pinhead performing wire-fu as he Wushu’s his death chains about making inane quips only then will you know the true face of horror…and my warning.
